Bargaining With A Demon
by TheWatchingEye
Summary: Astrid never feels lonely. Even when she was a little girl she always sensed that someone looked out for her. What she doesn't know is that it is a demon's presence she feels and when she finally meets him, she's very suspicious. However he convinces her that he is a friend and she makes deal after deal with him. Will she keep her soul? Modern AU;Supernatural AU;Time Travel AU
1. Mother

**IMPORTANT FOREWORD**

 **English isn't my native language, which made it pretty difficult for me to write this story. Therefore I want to thank my editor Sousuke Tenki for helping me.  
**

 **This is a modern AU, which follows the life of Astrid, who gets visited from a demon every time something really bad happens to her. Therefore most chapters are a mixture of hurt/comfort and details about living as a demon, which are necessary for the plot in later chapters.**

 **The stuff about heaven, hell, demons, angels, etc. isn't supposed to match with the bible, nor does it represent my personal belief.**

 **This story is first and foremost a romance (Hiccstrid), which gets pretty cheesy at some points, so be prepared. The rating is T for mild swearing, violence and really mild lemons.**

 **At the beginning of every chapter will be a short summary.**

 _ **SUMMARY OF THIS CHAPTER  
**_

 _Astrids mother dies because of an car accident and the demon takes Astrid to heaven to let the girl speak with her for one last time._

* * *

Chapter 1 - Mother

Astrid never felt lonely. Since she was a little girl, she always had this feeling that someone was looking out for her. When she was six years old, her mother told her about guardian angels and how everyone was supposed to have one. From that day forward, Astrid imagined the presence she felt were the protective wings of her personal angel wrapping around her when she was alone. Even though most children concluded that magical things like angels didn't exist when they grew older, Astrid didn't belong to this group because she could always feel that there was someone with her, but she never would have thought she would actually meet her companion one day.

Astrid was 12 years old when her mother died in a car accident.

She cried the whole day till deep into the night and when she finally stopped she was utterly exhausted. She lay in her bed, closing her swollen red eyes and hoping sleep would take her, but the pain in her chest was just too great. Each beat of pain consuming more of her being, seemingly going on towards the end of her existence where nothing was left besides the cold feeling of loss. Her mother was gone and she would never see her again. With every minute that passed this sentence became truer for Astrid. She was twelve years old and lost the person she loved the most in the world.

It was in this moment of despair, when the presence accompanying her for her whole life grew stronger than any previous moment in her life.

"Astrid?" An unknown voice asked softly.

Astrid immediately opened her eyes and let out a yelp of surprise. There, in her room, in the dead of the night stood a foreign scrawny, little boy with auburn hair and forest green eyes. His appearance made her guess he was her age and he didn't seem dangerous, but his unexpected, and silent arrival was enough to freak her out.

"W-who are you?! What are you doing in my room?!" She yelled in panic.

"You know who I am. You feel me beside you all day," he answered calmly.

Astrid's eyes went wide, realizing what his words meant.

'This couldn't be true, could it?' she pondered hastily. "You... you are my guardian angel?" She asked with shock clear in her voice.

He gave her a small, toothy smile. "I'm your guardian, but I'm not an angel," he answered.

This caused Astrid to frown in confusion, making the young boy sigh. "Please don't freak out... There is just no easy way to say this therefore I will make this short; I'm a demon."

"What?!" She screamed, flinching away from him.

"Calm down please! I'm not here to hurt you! I'm here to help!"

"And pigs might fly! Get away from me, you monster!"

"Astrid, I can take you to your mother!"

This caused the young girl to shut up, but changed her expression to utter horror.

"No! No, not what you think!" The demon responded quickly, realizing the implications of what he spoke prior. "She isn't in hell! I just want to take you for a short time to heaven and bring you back here."

Astrid paused to catch her breath and to process what he told her. Afterwards, she immediately narrowed her eyes. "What's the catch?"

"Who said there is a catch?" Answered the demon with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, come on! You are a demon! What do you want? My soul? You will never get that!" She spat angrily.

"Do you even know what a demon does?"

"You mean besides bargaining for souls of innocent people?"

"Hardy harr, harr, but no. We make sure that evil souls go to hell and don't escape – nothing more. We don't torture anyone and we don't trick innocent people," the demon explained.

"And I should believe you because you make yourself look like a wimp?" She asked sarcastically. These words caused the demon to flinch, making the little girl continue questioning, "What? Are you telling me you are actually looking like this?"

She snorted, while thinking, 'A demon looking like a toothpick? If something like this would be in the bible, no one would have ever feared Satan.'

"No, I don't," he answered, his voice laced with tones of irritation. "But at some point, I did. There was a time when I was human too."

"And how did you end up as a demon?"

He shrugged. "I made a deal."

"Like the one you want to make with me? Forget it!"

"I already told you, I won't ask for you to become like this," the boy responded, waving his hands over the front of him. "I just want an apology in return."

"An apology?" She inquired bewilderedly. "For calling you a wimp?"

"No, I want an apology for something you will do in the future. I will ask for it, when it is time."

"You can look into the future?"

"Basically, time doesn't hold the same meaning, if you are a demon. Anyway, do we have a deal?" He proposed, stretching his left hand out. She frowned.

"I asked you only for an apology, how much harm could one cause?"

Astrid had to admit, he had a point there. With great reluctance, she shook his hand and suddenly fell unconscious.

When she awoke again, she wasn't in her room anymore. It was a wide-open space flooded with bright light that appeared to come from everywhere. Astrid squinted and tried to make out her surroundings, but the only thing that didn't blind her was the demon beside her. The light seemed to completely ignore him.

"It's too bright, I can't see anything," she complained.

"Welcome to the club," he grumbled. "You aren't dead and I'm a demon. We don't belong in heaven and therefore we don't get to see it."

Astrid felt betrayed. This was all she got? A blinding light? "And how am I supposed to find my mother, when I can't see shit?!" She asked angrily.

The demon opened his mouth to answer, but paused when he heard another voice.

"Stop swearing, young girl!" Astrid turned around to face the direction the voice came from. There stood – clearly for her eyes to see – her mother wearing a bright smile.

"Mom!" Astrid exclaimed, running to the older woman and enveloping her in a bone crushing hug. The demon watched them from afar, but didn't make a move to walk over. The girl was already crying and her mother tried to comfort her.

He couldn't make out single words, but he could still sense what they were saying. Her mother told Astrid that she was fine, that heaven was a great place and that Astrid would see her again one day and until then, she would always watch over her and her father. The crying girl complained that it wasn't enough. She wanted her mother back, but the older woman answered only with a sad, understanding smile and told her that she loved her.

The rest of the time Astrid was held by her mother, who whispered reassurances in her ear and rubbed her back gently. At some point, both felt that their time together was almost over.

"Astrid, I have to tell you something," her mother began. "Do you know that your companion there is a demon?"

Astrid tried to wipe away her last tears and nodded. "He said demons aren't as bad as everybody thinks."

'God, this sounds so stupid,' she thought. He told her he was nice and suddenly he was trustworthy? What next? Following strangers home for candy?

"Hey, it's alright. Demons aren't evil," her mother seemed to sense what she thought. "But they have to wear a heavy burden. They have a very important job, but a very hard one as well. Therefore, many of them try to recruit people to become one of them." The older woman felt Astrid stiffen in her arms and she knew that her daughter understood what she meant. "Remember this and be careful."

Astrid opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. "It is time to go," the demon said and her mother ended their embrace.

"No!" Astrid yelled. "Please, no! Let me stay longer!" She begged.

"It's okay," her mother said. "I love you." And with these words, Astrid's world turned black once again. Shortly thereafter, she awoke back in her room.

"Are you alright?" A concerned voice asked and Astrid stood up to face the demon. A part of her wanted to scream at him for not giving her more time, but something deep inside of her told her that he did the right thing.

"Yes, I'm fine," she answered and surprisingly it was true. The darkness that seemed to consume her when she thought about her mother's death wasn't there anymore. It felt oddly peaceful. "Thank you," she mumbled.

"You're welcome," the demon answered with a smile.

"So, what's your name?" Astrid asked after a moment of silence.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," he answered, brandishing a big grin.

"Are all demons this annoying?" She asked irritated.

"Only yours."

"Mine?"

"Yes, or do you think I will stop looking out for you only because you saw me?" He gave a small laugh. "Nope, not getting rid of me."

"Fantastic," she deadpanned, thanking the heavens silently. Demon or not, he did something beautiful for her tonight.

At that the demon, laughed out loud, causing Astrid laugh too. His laugh didn't sound scary or mean. It sounded kind of goofy and dorky and was somehow adorable. After a minute both calmed down.

"You will see me again, if you need me," he said in a serious yet friendly tone before vanishing into thin air before her eyes.


	2. Boyfriend

**WARNING : The following chapter contains a 'mild' form of domestic violence.**

 _ **SUMMARY OF THIS CHAPTER**_

 _Astrid's boyfriend hits her and she hides it from her father. The demon tries to persuade her into telling him._

* * *

Chapter 2 - Boyfriend

Astrid was 15 when she saw her demon again.

It was a night, something happened to her that she never thought was possible; her boyfriend hit her. Hard.

She immediately wanted to leave him, but he grabbed her neck and threatened to hurt her again, if she tried to leave him. After leaving his house, she ran directly into her room once she arrived home, because she wanted to hide the bruise growing on her face from her father. She sat on her bed, face in her hands, and cried, feeling scared and weak to do anything else.

Suddenly, she felt something rubbing against her leg, startling her where she was on the bed. She gazed down to see a cat, black as night and with green eyes, who mewed sadly, attempting to comfort her.

"Where do you come from?" She asked softly, lifting the cat on her lap. The feline started purring instantly once in her lap.

"He came with me," a familiar voice said. Suddenly, the same dorky looking boy from three years ago, sat next to her. He didn't appear to be one day older than the last time she saw him.

"You have a cat?" She asked the demon while she petted the black feline.

"His name is Toothless. He was my cat when I was still a human and followed me on the other side," the boy answered.

Astrid furrowed her brows. "Why would you call a cat Toothless?" As if on cue, Toothless opened his mouth revealing to her his missing fangs. All the other teeth were right where they belonged, but four empty spaces were clearly visible.

"How did that happen?" She asked shocked.

"Oh, nothing serious. He never had fangs because of some kind of genetic abnormality, but it doesn't seem to bother him." The cat miaowed happily at his owner's answer.

"Looks like it," Astrid said with a smile. For some time, they just sat beside each other without saying anything. Then, the demon broke the silence.

"What happened today was horrible and I know you are scared it will happen again," he began. "But you don't have to be, because there is a way to make sure no guy has the chance to do something like this ever again. But for this, you must tell your father."

Astrid vehemently shook her head; new tears gathered in her eyes. "He wouldn't care."

"That's not true."

"And how would you know this?!" She yelled, causing Toothless to jump from her lap and making her regret her outburst instantly.

"Because I can see in his heart and he loves you with his entire being," the demon said unfazed from her screaming.

"Then he never shows it! Since Mom's death he basically stopped talking with me. It's almost like he holds me responsible for her accident."

"You know that he doesn't."

"Then why does he act like this?!" She screamed again unable to stop her tears from falling.

"Because he can't look at you without seeing your mother," the demon took her hand, leading Astrid to a mirror in her room. Delicately, he rubbed her tears away, "Look at you. You have her hair, eyes, lips, the same way of walking and standing, her laugh and most of your obvious personality traits. The only thing your father recognizes as a part you got from him is your temper and that is something he isn't very proud of giving you." The demon gave an encouraging smile, "He doesn't hate you. You just remind him of his loss – a loss he hasn't overcome yet."

"But that isn't my fault!" Astrid said defensively, jerking her hand away from him. "I can do nothing about that!"

"Astrid, I know you think that you are weak, but this isn't true. You are a fighter; you always were. Just like your father. Tell him what happened and he will teach you how to defend yourself. He will start seeing more of himself in you and this will help him to come to terms with the pain he feels."

"I'm not a fighter! I'm not like my father! Look at me! Look at my face!" She screamed and pointed to her bruise. "Some jerk decides to hit me and what did I do?! I ran home and hid myself, crying in my room like a six-year-old!"

Without saying anything, the demon grabbed her head in his hands and in an instant she saw herself but at the same time she didn't look like herself. This other Astrid wore, what she guessed was, a boxer outfit while prancing around an opponent, who was at least one head taller than her. She held her gloved fists close to her face to shield herself against possible attacks. With every controlled movement, one could see the powerful muscles of her athletic body working. Shocked, Astrid realized that her other self even had abs! She looked mighty, fierce and dangerous. She looked like some kind of beautiful, yet terrifying goddess.

Suddenly, her opponent attacked with a left hook, but Astrid ducked and then with a powerful uppercut, sent her enemy to the ground. Loud cheering erupted from all sides, but the loudest voice was that of her father who bellowed: "That's how you do it! That is my daughter!"

With this, the vision ended and the demon released Astrid's head. She stared at him with a dumbfounded expression.

"I-I will become like this?" Astrid asked incredulous.

"Yes, terrifying, isn't it?" The demon answered, grinning. He didn't tell her the price of this change: She would grow cold to others, so she wouldn't show weakness, or that her determination to reach a single target would consume most of her time and keep her from making friends. He didn't tell her because he knew how her life would be, if she didn't learn to fight for herself. 'It has to be like this,' he thought. He would make it up to her and make sure she wouldn't feel lonely when she was alone in the time to come and he would help her to crack her own emotional shell once the right moment arrived.

"Thank you!" Astrid said, hugging the demon, who stiffened instantly. The girl released him at once.

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," she blurted.

"No! No, no, you didn't make me uncomfortable!" He exclaimed a little too quickly. "I... I just didn't expect this. Demons usually don't get much affection."

"Oh..." Astrid spoke softly, remembering what her mother had told her. That being a demon wasn't easy. "What is it like? You know... hell." She asked cautiously.

The demon didn't look surprised about this question. He just sighed, sitting back on the bed. Astrid followed suit. "It is hard to describe. It isn't like humans imagine it. There is no physical pain or fire. Nevertheless, it is easily the worst place in all existence," he explained slowly. "God is love and even though humans don't consciously feel him, his love is ubiquitous. All beings rely on this love and if they don't get it, they suffer immensely. That is Hell and Hell is the only place in creation not touched by God's love."

Astrid had difficulties imagining such a place. Even when she was alone, or when her mother died, or when she was alienated from her father, she could always sense the warm presence of the demon. She knew her whole life that he cared about her and this made it hard for her to comprehend what it meant to be truly lonely. During her musings, Toothless jumped on the lap of the demon, who started to pet the black cat.

"But how do demons deal with this?" Astrid asked.

The demon gave a short, joyless laugh. "Demons are the only creatures that don't need the love of god. It is our blessing and our curse. When we lost the part of us that would suffer without god's love we lost also our ability to sense it at all," he mused, shaking his head. "This change saves us from the punishment the damned have to endure, but that doesn't mean everything is alright. Becoming a demon is like everything good in the world suddenly vanishes and the only feeling left is a cold void. For a demon, there is no difference between Earth or Hell; Hell is everywhere."

Astrid hadn't thought it would be like that. She wanted to comfort him, but didn't know how or what to say to him. Finally, after a long pause she said pitifully, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Yes, it isn't easy, but it is manageable. Every demon learns during the first decades of his existence how to cope with his situation."

He paused and looked at her like he was thinking about something. Then he spoke again, "Remember how you thought I was your guardian angel?" She nodded.

"Angels almost never talk with humans, because they don't need to. Demons on the other hand do it all the time. We try to get the warmth we felt before we lost our ability to sense God's love from other living beings. Therefore, Toothless here is a big help for me. I'm really thankful that he came with me when I changed," the demon said, smiling down on the purring feline.

"Wait, so you just randomly picked me out and decided you want to be my friend?" So, in reality, he didn't care for her as a person, he just needed anyone? She couldn't help but feel hurt.

"There was nothing random about you," he proclaimed earnestly. "It was you and only you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Confusion and irritation could be clearly heard in her voice.

"We should end this topic here," he said plainly.

"You can't say something like this and expect me to ignore it!" She snapped. "Answer my question!"

"I won't say anything more about this," he affirmed. "Besides there is still the question of my payment."

"Payment?" She repeated in an angry tone.

"Of course, I'm a demon. We don't give anything for free," he said with a smug smile, which only increased Astrid's irritation further. He wanted to be annoying? This game could be played by two.

"And what exactly makes you think I will pay for something you gave me already?" She asked, mustering a smug smile of her own. The demon gaped at this, clearly not expecting this turn of events.

"Come on! It wouldn't be very honorable to use this against me only because I wanted to help you first and ask questions later!" He argued.

"Hmmmm..." She pondered with an exaggerated thinking pose. "Let's hear what you want and then I will decide."

"Honesty."

"Honesty?"

"For someone as smart as you, you repeat my words awfully often."

"If the stuff you say would actually make any sense; I wouldn't need to do this!" She retorted. She instantly realized that she had lost the game of annoyance. 'Damnit!'

The demon grinned, clearly aware of his victory, which only aggravated Astrid further. "At some point in the future, I will ask you to speak the truth and you must do it. This is my prize."

He extended his left hand to her. "Do we have a deal?"

"Fine!" She barked, shaking his hand.

"Great!" He answered enthusiastically. "Then it is time for me to go."

Astrid flinched slightly as she heard this. She didn't want him to go. It may be true that he was annoying, but somehow it was nice to have him around.

"Don't worry," he added, clearly misunderstanding her reaction. "I know for sure that this idiot, who hit you, will never touch you again." And suddenly the demon and Toothless were gone.


	3. Father

_**SUMMARY OF THIS CHAPTER**_

 _Astrid's father dies and the demon tries to show Astrid that there is still someone left, who cares about her._

* * *

Chapter 3 - Father

Astrid spoke with her father about what happened to her and instead of going to the guy, who hurt her and ripping his head off, he immediately started teaching her to defend herself. With a few new tricks up her sleeve, she calmly told her boyfriend that she never wanted to see him again. He tried to change her mind, but after the breaking of his second rib he accepted her reasoning.

After the breakup, the relationship between Astrid and her father improved greatly. Astrid tried to stop being a copy of her mother and to become her own person. She did this by exploring and embracing the fiercer parts of herself. Because of this, her father's view of her changed dramatically. He could still recognize his late wife in her and parts of himself that arose, but she wasn't either of them. She was a combination of both of her parents and with finally acknowledging this she paradoxically started to become more than just the sum of her parts. She started to become Astrid.

Astrid's training to defend herself made her realize how much she liked sports. She became an ace in martial arts and athletics. Trying to pick on Astrid was like juggling with axes. She was a force of nature and everyone knew this. "Fearless" Astrid Hofferson that was what they called her, because she never backed down from a fight. Therefore, it didn't surprise anyone when she planned to become a police officer after school. The second her father heard, he swelled with pride because his daughter would uphold law and order and protect those who couldn't protect themselves. For him, there was no civilian profession that was more honorable than a police officer. This was the reason why he had joined the military, to protect and serve his country.

Astrid was 18 when she received news that her father wouldn't come back home.

That evening, Astrid sat alone in her room in the house that was now hers. She didn't cry. The days of her being weak were long gone. And beside it wasn't so bad, was it? Astrid didn't pity her father, because she knew, for sure, that he would see her mother again and that he would be happy beyond words. Astrid even had been able to part on good terms from him. Her demon had been right: Her father had loved her and had showed it to her every day in the last three years, but this was also part of the problem. Once again, she had lost someone who loved her. Both her parents were dead and even though she had many acquaintances in school, none were truly her friends. She was finally all alone. There was only one person left.

"Meow!" Astrid looked down, noticing the familiar black cat.

"Hey, Toothless," she greeted the feline, who jumped on her lap and rubbed himself against her. "Yeah, I missed you too."

"I hope he isn't the only one you missed," announced a voice. Astrid then caught the sight of the young auburn haired boy, who seated himself beside her.

"I know you are always there. I just wished you wouldn't only come out to talk when something horrible happens in my life," she said angrily, realizing how thick her voice was.

"Believe me, you aren't the only one who wishes for it," the demon said, rubbing her back to comfort her. "But it is your life and you have to live it on your own."

"Well, that's perfect, because now I don't have anyone to share it with anyways!" She snapped.

"Give it time," he said encouraging. "I will tell you the truth: The next year will be very hard for you, but afterwards everything will get better. Much better."

"You promise?" She asked in a quiet yet hopeful tone.

"Did I ever lie to you?" The demon retorted, smiling.

"No, but I know you don't tell me everything," she accused.

"Nevertheless, I only have your best interest at heart," he expressed in earnest.

"Why?" She questioned. "What is so special about me?"

"You will understand it. One day."

His answer earned him a frustrated groan, but Astrid didn't pry further. "So what is it tonight?" She inquired, changing the topic. "Will you bring me to my father?"

The demon shook his head. "You told each other everything you needed to. No, I'm here to remind you that there is still someone left, who cares about you," he explained, giving her an intense gaze. She almost shivered. Almost.

"I already know this. I couldn't forget you, even if I wanted."

He shook his head again. "You know there is someone watching over you, but that is all you know. I'm here to give you further insight." He stood up. "For this to work I need you to lay down here on the edge of your bed."

Astrid raised her eyebrows, but did like he told her. Afterwards, he gently lifted her upper body and sat himself on her bed in such a manner that her head rested in his lap when he laid her back down. It was an odd image. She was a grown woman and he looked like he was 12 years old and nevertheless they were in a position, in which she was the one who searched for comfort. Astrid didn't like it.

She must have looked like she wanted to protest because he held his hands up and said: "Relax. You can trust me." Astrid didn't react at first, but finally nodded. "Good. Now, close your eyes." With an exasperated frown, she did.

A few seconds later, she simultaneously felt one of his hands being placed on her chest while the other one started caressing her hair. It was like lightning had struck her. Involuntarily, Astrid took a sharp breath and slightly squirmed. An incredible amount of emotion washed over her. Deep care – no, deep love filled her entire body with a warmth unlike anything she ever experienced before. It was hard to grasp all of it. She felt how much more powerful he was than her. He was an immortal demon and she was a mere human. She knew, he could crush her with a flick of his fingers, but at the same time she never felt safer in her life. Astrid sensed he would do everything to protect her. His love was so deep and pure; it was so overwhelming that it terrified her.

'It must feel like this to be in the presence of god,' she thought.

Soon, she realized that his hands didn't feel small anymore. They seemed to have grown and she wondered if she would look into the face of an adult, if she opened her eyes now. She tried to, but, somehow, he didn't allow it. He didn't want her to see him, only to feel him and she accepted it. All her thoughts of grief and loneliness had vanished from her mind and only peace and contentedness were left.

"Silence." Astrid heard, but not with her ears, rather in her mind. "This time silence is what I ask for." The tone of his words sounded different from every voice she knew. It seemed to be everything at once – young and mature, high and deep.

She couldn't find her voice therefore she only nodded. She couldn't help but think: 'Doesn't the devil usually seal his deals with a kiss?' And as if he had read her thoughts, she suddenly felt a pair of lips gently being pressed against her forehead.

The moment his mouth left her skin she felt like she had been drugged. She rapidly slipped from consciousness and the last thing she heard before she fell into a deep and dreamless slumber was: "I love you, Astrid. I always have and always will." And she believed it.


	4. Hiccup

_**SUMMARY OF THIS CHAPTER**_

 _Hiccup runs quite literally into Astrid and she gets incredible angry about it. In this situation the demon demands from her to pay parts of her debt._

* * *

Chapter 4 - Hiccup

The demon's words were not wrong when he told her the next year would be tough. Astrid still wasn't finish with school and now she had to fend for herself. Fortunately, she got some financial support from the military, but it wasn't enough so she needed to get a job. The following months were a balancing act between studying for good grades and making money to buy food and pay the bills. Astrid was basically always stressed without any time for social contacts – well, at least the last part wasn't something new to her.

It was a particular stressful Thursday and Astrid rushed out of class as fast as she could, because she needed to go to work. As she walked past some guy, who she didn't know, he suddenly slipped and crashed into her. They both fell to the floor causing her worksheets and notes to scatter all over the place.

"Are you too stupid to walk?!" She screamed at him before he even had a chance to open his mouth.

His eyes were wide open in horror as he realized who the girl was that laid with him on the ground. Everyone in school knew the terrifying Astrid Hofferson. "I-I-I'm so sor..." He stuttered, but she slapped him before he could finish and stood up.

"I don't give a shit about your apology! You-" But some laughter cut her off, followed by a yell.

"Whoa! Hiccup the Useless strikes again!"

Astrid turned her head and saw a group of burly teens laughing at them. Or better yet: Laughing at the guy, who crashed into her. "Wasn't your peg leg screwed in tightly?" Another asked and a new wave of laughter erupted.

Astrid looked back down to the guy. His pants leg had lightly rolled up and she realized with a shock that he really had a prosthesis where his left foot should have been.

"Shut the fuck up, you stupid punks, or I'm going to start cutting _your_ limps off!" She bellowed to the laughing group causing them to fall silent immediately and scurry away. She extended her arm to the guy, who was apparently called Hiccup and still rested on the ground, but he brushed it away.

"Don't touch me," he hissed and his voice dripped with disdain. The outlines of her hand on his cheek burned bright red. "I don't need your pity."

A part of Astrid was surprised that he had the guts to speak with her in such a way, but the bigger part felt guilt. She thought it would be best to leave him alone and almost started to walk away, when she suddenly heard the demon in her head – speaking in the same inhuman voice he used the last time he visited her.

 _Apologize._

It didn't seem like too much to ask considering that she really wanted to, but she had to go to work. There was no time for something like this! She started to turn around, when the voice of the demon returned much louder.

 _Apologize!_

She gritted hear teeth. Astrid still wanted to leave, but something held her in place. Finally, she relented. "I... I'm sorry for what I did," she said.

"I don't give a shit about your apology!" Hiccup threw her words back at herself and started to get up. It seemed to be rather difficult for him, but in the end, he made it. The brown-haired guy stood before her and crossed his arms. "Why would I care about what you have to say? What changed for you in the two seconds it took me to go from being some ordinary guy to being a cripple?"

Astrid hung her head in shame. She didn't know how to answer this. "Look..." She started quietly, almost whispering. "I had a rough week – actually a rough year – and everybody knows I've got quite the temper." 'Why did I say this?' She thought. 'God, I don't even know him!'

"Prosthesis or not, it wasn't okay from me to slap you or scream at you." His green eyes softened as he heard this although his posture didn't relax. "I'm sorry," she continued. "I really am and not because you have a disability. Please... let me make it up to you."

"You... want to make it up to me?" He asked confused.

"Yes, how about we get something to eat? I pay." She said. 'If I lose my job because of this I'm going to kick this demons' ass.' Astrid thought.

After a moment of contemplation Hiccup nodded. "Okay."

"Good," Astrid replied with a surprisingly genuine smile. "Let me just get my notes."

"I will help you," he said just before slipping on one of the papers on the floor and fell to the ground taking Astrid with him. For the second time, they lay beside each other and Hiccup was sure she would start hitting him again, but she didn't. She started to laugh and after a short moment of nervous staring he joined her.

When Astrid and Hiccup had finally finished gathering all her stuff, they went to a Burger King near their school. Their conversation wasn't bad, but it was superficial. Astrid didn't expect anything else. She didn't _want_ anything else. All she wanted was to make up for her stupid behavior and then continue with her life. The demon however seemed to have other plans.

 _Honesty. Be honest._

Without even meaning or a second thought, Astrid started to speak about her problems. She talked about her awful last year, the death of her parents, her difficult relationship with her father after her mother's death and she even told Hiccup about the attack of her ex, which caused her change to become one of the scariest persons in school.

What surprised her even more than her own heartfelt revelation was that he in return did one too. He told her about the day he lost his leg. At the time he was six years old, he and his mother got caught in a big storm. They took shelter in a supermarket, but the heavy rain made a part of the roof collapse. His mother died, his leg was crushed and he lay under tons of debris for almost a whole day. Without his wife, his father couldn't handle his crippled son, who was so much like his mother and so little like himself. Hiccup's dad was the CEO of a big company and was almost never at home. For Hiccup, it was like living alone. He didn't even tell his father about the many bullies, who picked on him since the second they took notice of his artificial leg.

Astrid could relate to this. They almost had the same backgrounds: Dead mothers, estranged fathers, violence from others they tried to keep to themselves. But unlike Astrid, Hiccup didn't overcome the gap between him and his father and he didn't learn how to defend himself. He had suffered many of the things her demon had saved her from. Yes, his dad was still alive and he didn't have problems to make a living, but Astrid couldn't help thinking, that maybe his life situation was even worse than her own.

However, in the end one thing was absolutely clear: They were both alone. No loving family and no friends. Maybe it was time to change that.

It was this day – shortly before her 19th birthday – that Astrid Hofferson and Hiccup Haddock began their friendship.


	5. Toothless

_**SUMMARY OF THIS CHAPTER**_

 _Astrid decides to buy Hiccup a cat as a present. At the shelter she shockingly finds Toothless._

* * *

Chapter 5 - Toothless

Astrid couldn't remember the last time she felt this happy. During the following months, she realized how much she really needed someone to talk to. At first, Hiccup was incredible nervous and awkward. During their fight, he might have had the guts to yell at her, but without his anger he basically stuttered the whole time. It was irritating yet in some way also pretty cute. However, the more they saw each other, the more he got used to her presence. After a month, he finally acted normal – well, Hiccup's style of normal – and from this point on they could completely focus on each other.

Hiccup had many qualities Astrid liked about him. His intelligence and his humor were just the tip of the iceberg. He was for example very reliable, he supported Astrid wherever he could. He helped her studying and organizing her busy schedule and she was sure he would even lend her money, if she would ask for it, but of course she never did. She didn't want to give him the feeling she only liked him because of his money, because nothing would be farther away from truth.

Astrid savored every moment she could spend with Hiccup between school and work. She always sensed the warmth of the demons' presence in her mind, but with Hiccup it was like this warmth had taken a physical form. She needed this, she needed him. He made her feel wanted and she did the same for him. It didn't take long for them to become truly inseparable and everyone at school realized soon, that anyone who would pick on Hiccup would be crushed under Astrid's fists.

After they finished school, they decided to stay in town. Astrid started police training and Hiccup went to the local college studying architecture. His choice was the result of a compromise he made with his father. Hiccup wanted to become an artist, but his dad wanted him to choose a profession he could actually live from. After a long discussion and his father even threatening to disown him they finally settled for architecture. On one hand, it allowed Hiccup to design and invent and on the other hand, architect was a job in which he would earn enough money to make a decent living.

It took Astrid and Hiccup two years to come from total strangers to best friends and finally to girlfriend and boyfriend. Hiccup had wanted to tell her his feelings for quite some time, but he couldn't imagine such a perfect woman to take a romantic interest in a cripple. After several months, Astrid was fed up with waiting for him to make his move and just dropped the l-bomb. At first, Hiccup was just perplexed, but after he came out of his stupor he literally pounced on her and started kissing her senseless. Yeah, that was definitely one of Astrid's favorite memories about their relationship.

After becoming an official couple, it didn't take long for them to move in together. Astrid suspected one of the reasons for this was that Hiccup got financial support from his father and could help her with paying the bills. When she asked him about this, he denied everything, but she knew better than to believe it. However, she also knew that this wasn't his main reason to move in with her and therefore she decided she was okay with him supporting her.

Astrid was 21 while Hiccup was already 22 and today was the first anniversary of their relationship. Astrid was sure that he would be the man she would marry someday. In his eyes, she was some kind of gift and he made sure to never take her for granted. He was everything she wished for when she had been 15 and started her first relationship. This was the reason why she decided to grant him a wish he held since he was a little boy: Hiccup had always wanted a cat, but his father had never allowed it. Now that he lived under his own roof, it was time to change this.

At the local animal shelter, a woman lead Astrid to a room full with baileys with cats and left her alone, so she could decide without rush which cat she wanted. Astrid walked along the rows of cages while peering inside, hoping that she would recognize the right cat when she saw it. But when she finally did, it didn't feel like an enlightenment. It felt more like a punch in the face. There – between all those strays – sat Toothless.

At first, she thought her eyes betrayed her, but it was unmistakable the same black feline she had seen with the demon. As if to squash the last doubt she had, he yawned and she could clearly see the four empty spots, where his fangs should have been. It was Toothless, but it couldn't be.

"Hey," a voice she knew all too well rang in the room. It was the voice of her boyfriend, but when she turned around and looked at his face, she knew it wasn't him. But she also knew he was. He was the demon but at the same time he was Hiccup.

"You...you...you are..." She stuttered. He couldn't be Hiccup! He just couldn't!

"Hiccup." He supported with a slight smirk that somehow made her incredible angry.

"But how?!" She yelled. "How can you be the demon and at the same time wait for me at home?!"

"The moment where I became a demon wasn't the point where I was supposed to start with my new task, because it was located in the past. Therefore I was sent back in time," he explained like it was the most normal thing in the world.

For a few seconds, Astrid couldn't do anything but stare. This was probably the reason why Hiccup didn't expect what came afterwards. With all the strength she could muster, Astrid punched him in the jaw and sent him to the ground. Her hand hurt like hell, but his painful groan made it worth it. She was sure that the jaw of a human would have been broken. Fortunately for him, he wasn't a human.

Since this Hiccup didn't have a prosthesis, it was much easier for him to scramble back on his feet. "Why did you do that?!" He bellowed with an angry glare.

"Why? Why?!" She screamed. "Do you want another one, you son of a half-troll?!"

Hiccup lifted his arms in a defensive posture and took a few steps back. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth! But it had to be this way! You needed the chance to fall in love with your Hiccup without knowing all this!" He gestured to himself.

"That is not what I'm angry about!" She roared, trying to hit him again, but he dodged it with inhumane speed.

"Then what is it?!" He yelled while grabbing her hands to prevent further attacks. What he didn't foresee was for her to knee him in the groin. He fell to his knees with a painful moan. Astrid tried to kick him, but he grabbed her leg and pulled her down to him. As soon as she sat on the ground, he snatched her wrists and pinned her arms behind her back.

"How could you do this to yourself?! How could you become this?!" She screamed at him, even though in their position their faces were only inches apart. With a thick voice, she continued. "You sold your soul! You will never get into heaven!"

'We will never see each other again after death,' she wanted to add, but didn't.

"This isn't true."

He tried to keep his voice calm, because he didn't want to make the situation worse. Astrid would never cry, but her voice told him that she was hurt. "I have to be a demon only for a certain amount of time. Afterwards, I will become human again and be sent to heaven."

Astrid's expression visibly softened. "How long?"

Hiccup flinched. He knew this question had to come but that didn't make it any easier.

"All in all, 130 years." He answered and she instantly got angry again.

"130 years?!" She yelled, squirming in his grip. "Let go of my hands!"

"You only want to hit me again!" He accused, using his demonic strength to make sure the kickboxing champion in his arms wouldn't rip his head off.

"Damn right!" She screamed. "How could you've been so stupid?! How could you make such a deal?!"

"I would've died, if I didn't!" He yelled, causing Astrid to stop struggling immediately.

"What?" She asked with a small voice and far paler than usual.

"I would've died!" Hiccup repeated a little louder than he intended to. He let go of her wrists, taking a deep breath before he continued. "The deal nearly doubled my life expectation and allowed me to life long enough to die from a natural cause rather than being killed."

"Being killed?" She asked shocked.

He nodded, but didn't say anything else. For a while, they just sat there on the floor and looked at each other. Astrid couldn't comprehend what she had heard. There would be a moment in the future where her boyfriend had to sell his soul to survive. 'How could this happen? This wasn't fair! Why him?! Hadn't he already suffered enough in his life?! Hadn't they both?! She had already lost her parents, she didn't want to lose Hiccup too!'

"Astrid," he murmured, which made her snap out of her musing. "It isn't as bad as you think."

"Yes, it is," she said defiantly. "You told me about what it is like to be a demon, remember?" Her gaze was full of concern and anxiousness. "Hiccup, 130 years..."

"I will manage," he said confidently, but she didn't look convinced. "Hey, do you remember how I told you that every demon learns at the beginning of his existence how to cope with his situation?"

She nodded.

"This was one of the reasons why I was sent back in time." The answer he got was a confused look. "I already served 21 years as a demon, Astrid." His gaze told her that this information should tell her something, but she didn't know what.

"21 years..." She repeated while thinking and suddenly her eyes grew wide. "I'm 21," Astrid whispered.

"I was sent back to the day of your birth."

Hiccup confirmed her thoughts with a small smile. "I accompanied you through these past decades to see how you became the person I love and to learn that seeing you and sensing your presence is all I need to feel at peace. I needed this time to figure out how to handle being a demon and I did. Because every day of these past years reminded me of one simple truth: That to be happy all I need is you and that I will endure and overcome every challenge, if it means to be with you again."

He spoke with such utmost sincerity and conviction that it made Astrid shiver. Her feelings reminded her of the day when she fell asleep with her head on his lap. She had never felt more loved as in that moment three years ago, and now she felt it again. She hugged him tightly and buried her face in his shoulder.

"Besides," He began while returning the hug. "I can look into the future. If I say it will be fine, you can trust me with that."

She snorted and pulled away lightly to face him. "Yeah, I could see how great you are with looking in the future when I punched you in the jaw."

He scowled at her. "There is a difference between 'being able to look into the future' and 'always being aware about every tiny detail that's going to happen'."

"I would say something like this too, when I would be a demon and got my ass kicked by a human," she said smirking. As an answer, his scowl intensified, but his eyes betrayed his mirth. He had successfully made her feel better.

For some time, they just sat in silence one the ground with their arms loosely wrapped around one another and looked in each other's eyes. With a contented smile on her face, Astrid slowly lost herself in the forest green ocean of his loving gaze. In this moment, it seemed that her whole world would fit in the space between him and herself. Nothing existed outside of their embrace.

"Astrid?" He asked with a soft tone not breaking eye contact.

"Yes, Hiccup?" She asked in a matching voice.

"Could I... may I..."

Caught off guard by his sudden awkwardness, she also noticed that for a split second his eyes wandered down to her lips and instantly she understood what he wanted to ask. She couldn't prevent the laugh that escaped her.

"Hiccup," she said giggling at Hiccups clearly irritated expression. "Of course, you can kiss me. You might be from the future, but you are still my boyfriend!"

A mischievous grin broke out on his face. "From my point of view 'husband' would be more appropriate." Now it was his turn to laugh at the flustered expression on Astrid's face.

"You are making this up!" She accused with her cheeks burning red.

"Nope," he said, smirking and popping his 'p' in his word. "Or did you really think that we would be boyfriend and girlfriend forever?"

"Well then, _husband_ ," she declared clearly, exaggerating the last word. "What are you waiting for?"

She didn't have to ask twice. Hiccup immediately laid a hand behind her head and pulled her into a kiss. At first, it was gentle and sweet, but it grew more and more passionate and greedy by the second. His fingers buried themselves in her hair while his tongue invaded her mouth, which elicited a loud moan from her. His other hand pressed her body against his chest to be as close as possible. Astrid could feel his need for her. It consumed him and now he consumed her. And she was completely fine with it.

Only the need for air made them part. Panting they looked at each other. "I waited more than 20 years to kiss you again." He whispered.

She brought a hand to his cheek "I will kiss you whenever you want me to."

He laid his own hand on hers and kissed her palm. "The woman from the reception will come back any moment. I have to go," Hiccup explained in a slightly pained tone.

Astrid nodded and kissed him again. "We will see each other again."

"You bet we will," he said with a smile before vanishing before her eyes.

She stood up slowly with a wistful sigh. She turned toward the black feline, who had watched the whole scene quietly from his cage. "Well, I know someone, who really needs to meet you, Toothless."


	6. Daughter

**Warning : This chapters content might be tough for some people. If you want to make sure, what happens, please read the summary.**

 _ **SUMMARY OF THE CHAPTER**_

 _Astrid gets pregnant but loses her child, because of miscarriage._

* * *

Chapter 6 - Daughter

To say Hiccup's reaction to Toothless was ecstatic would have been an understatement. He looked like he was about to burst with happiness. Watching him and the black cat play together was a joy, but Astrid couldn't focus on the happy scene in front of her. Every time she tried, her mind drifted back to the events at the animal shelter. Hiccup was her demon and apparently, he only became it to save his life. What should she do about this? Should she tell him? Maybe it would prevent him from making this deal. Maybe then he wouldn't have to suffer from the same things the demon had told her about. Would Hiccup even believe her?

'Hey, since the age of twelve I regularly talked with a creature from hell and guess what? This creature is you.' Yeah, not really a good way to start a conversation. But what were her alternatives? He had to know!

Astrid wasn't even close to a coward nevertheless it took her the whole evening to gather enough courage to tell him. However, the moment she opened her mouth she heard his voice vibrating in her mind.

 _You promised me silence._

'Oh, come on!' She thought angrily.

She tried again and again to speak, but to no avail. She wasn't able to tell her boyfriend about the demon this day and at none of the following days. After a few weeks, she eventually had given up. The demon didn't want his younger self to know and all she could do was to trust him that he knew what was best for himself. She wished she could do more than staying close – waiting for the right moment to step in and maybe stop what would force him to sell his soul.

Luckily staying at Hiccups side didn't seem to be much of a problem for Astrid. She was 25 when the demons' words became true and she married him.

The wedding was probably the happiest day in her life. With Hiccup at her side, she knew she could take on the world easily and now she never had to be without him again. She couldn't wait to spend the rest of their lives together and she knew it was the same for him.

The wedding was a simple yet expensive event, but even though both already had jobs, Hiccups' father still insisted on paying for the whole thing. Hiccup's relationship with Stoick had somewhat improved over the last years. His job as an architect wasn't what his father had planned for him, but it was enough to not have to hide what his son did from others. In addition, Stoick was rather fond of Astrid and therefore very happy when things between Hiccup and her became serious.

Astrid wasn't sure what to make from this. On one hand she was glad that Hiccup's relationship with his father got better, but on the other hand she felt like his job and his partner shouldn't be the reason. It was like Stoick didn't see Hiccup for what he really was and from what she could tell, Hiccup thought this too.

Sometimes, Hiccup would speak about these thoughts and about his mother. He often asked himself, what Valka would say, if she knew everything that happened between her husband and her son. Astrid regretted that she never had the chance to meet this woman, because even though Hiccup had only a few memories of Valka, but she influenced his life greatly. Before he knew Astrid, the idea that somewhere his loving mother was watching over him always helped him in his darkest hours. Astrid knew how he felt. A similar notion gave Astrid strength too during those three awful years between the car accident of her mother and her reconciliation with her father. However, as alike as their situations seemed, it was the differences which worried Astrid. Three awful years and one year alone after her father's death wasn't the same as watching your mother die before your eyes at the age of six and the lifelong feeling that your own father is ashamed of you.

Hiccup was deeply traumatized by the events that led to Valka's death. In his youth, he needed professional help for many years, but even though it wasn't for nothing it still wasn't enough for him to overcome what had happened. One time, he tried to talk to Astrid about the details of the day when he was buried under the debris with his smashed leg and beside his dead mother, but he broke down as soon as he started and Astrid needed to comfort him the whole night before he was able to calm down.

Hiccup didn't know anything about a healthy relationship between children and their parents. Therefore, he was utterly terrified when two years after their marriage Astrid became pregnant. They both knew he wanted kids, but the prospect of becoming a father scared him to no ends. Astrid understood this, because even she was more than nervous. She was patient with her husband (as good as possible between her temper and the pregnancy hormones) and after months of reassurances and babysitting almost every toddler in the neighborhood, Hiccup finally overcame his anxiety. It was almost like he was a completely new person. Now every time Astrid mentioned the baby his eyes got this excited sparkle, which was usually reserved for ideas of new designs or inventions, and he started gesturing wildly while talking about all the things he wanted to do once their child was born. In those moments, she was absolutely sure that he loved their unborn daughter as much as she did and she believed everything she had ever wanted from life would finally become true.

Astrid was 27 when she lost her baby in the 20th week of pregnancy.

At first Astrid tried not to cry, telling herself she was a Hofferson, a strong fighter, who didn't cry. But when Hiccup started sobbing and crying, like he had at the day when he tried to tell her about the death of his mother, Astrid realized that she was also a Haddock and that maybe some people deserved that tears are shed for them. They spend the following hours hugging each other while crying themselves to sleep.

Their daughter was dead. Their daughter was dead and Astrid couldn't help but feel responsible for it. She knew that miscarriages weren't uncommon and that there wasn't anything she could've done to prevent this. Nevertheless, it was her body that killed her child and she felt guilty. Guilty for her daughter, because she lost a life to live, and guilty for her husband, whose eyes looked like his heart had been shredded in his chest.

Two months passed and Astrid couldn't stand it anymore. It was like being ripped into pieces over and over again. At some point, she started praying, not to god, but to her demon. She begged him to show her that her daughter was alright, that she was in heaven. She begged him to take the pain away from her husband, who often laid awake at night and silently cried. She begged him to make her forget that she murdered their child. But in the end, it was her husband, not the demon, who finally answered her prayers.

Hiccup had already tried to talk with her several times before, but she had kept most of her feeling to herself. She didn't tell him, she was fine, because they both knew that would've been a lie, but she also didn't tell him the truth. She wasn't sure why. Maybe she didn't want to burden him with her sorrow, because he already suffered enough from his own, or maybe she felt like she deserved the pain she felt and didn't want it to end.

However, Hiccup seemed to have other plans. "It isn't your fault," he said one evening while both of them sat on the couch.

Astrid immediately knew what he was talking about. "I know," she answered with a short glance to him before she continued watching the TV.

"It isn't your fault and I don't blame you."

"Hiccup, I know," she said a little sharper without looking at him. Astrid tried to scoot away from him, but he hugged her around the shoulders to stop her, which made her look at him again.

"Astrid, it isn't your fault."

"I know!" She screamed as loud as she could and slapped him. Instantly, the red outlines of her hand became visible on his cheek and reminded her of the first time they had met and how she had hurt the sweet clumsy boy, who just wanted to apologize for running into her. Ashamed of herself Astrid tried to escape him, but he only brought her closer and pressed her against his chest. At first, she struggled in his grip, but he didn't relent and after a while she stopped. Hiccup could feel her starting to tremble and to sob even though she kept herself quiet.

"It isn't your fault and I won't let you think otherwise," he whispered. "I know you're hurting and I'm too. But neither of us needs to fight this on his own." He pulled slightly back from her, so he could see her face. Even though her eyes were red and puffy, her piercing blue gaze was still strong and powerful. "I'm here for you no matter what," he began. "But I need you to be here for me as well."

"I am," she responded in a surprising strong voice.

"Then don't keep me out anymore. You can't have one without the other. You can't stay close to me while pushing me away," he said sternly, causing Astrid to nod slowly. "And if... if we don't get better, then I want us to go to a therapist."

Astrid opened her mouth as if she wanted to protest, but after a second she closed it and nodded again.

"Thank you," Hiccup replied sincerely.

Astrid flinched upon hearing his thanks. "I should be thanking you," she answered before her gaze fell to the ground. "God, I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"You punch me all the time," he tried to joke.

She looked back at him. "Not like this," she whispered, stroking his red cheek tenderly. "I hurt you the day we met and now I did it again while all you wanted was to help me."

Her voice cracked, "I hurt you so much."

"Hey, hey, hey, stop exaggerating. You make it sound like you beat me up all day."

Astrid eyes filled with tears again. "It is my fault that my miscarriage hit you like this. If I hadn't spent the last months convincing you how great it would be to be a parent..."

"Stop!" Hiccup cut her off with a sharp edge in his voice and a deep frown on his face. Astrid was taken aback with how angry he suddenly seemed.

"Stop talking like you are the reason for everything bad that happened! You are the best thing in my life. Period. I would rather cut of my other leg than lose you."

He made a small pause to emphasize his point before he continued. "And what are you even sorry about? Of course, I'm crushed. I would be even if you hadn't managed to take my anxiety of being a father away from me. We lost our daughter! Would you really want me to not care about this? Is this really the kind of person you want me to be?"

An intense mixture of emotions were visible on Astrid's face. Hiccup believed to detect regret, but also anger and... relief? He wasn't sure. After a few moments of silence, her features settled for regret. "I'm sorry, I was this stupid," she mumbled. Hiccup felt a weight lift from his heart when he realized that her voice wasn't filled with sorrow anymore. All he heard was irritation for blaming herself for his pain.

"It's okay. I'm used to deal with your kind of stupid," he answered with a smirk.

Instantly, the apologetic look in her eyes got replaced with a dangerous glint and suddenly a sardonic smile appeared on her face. "Oh, is this so?" She asked with a far too sweet voice.

At once, Hiccup became very uncomfortable. "W-what are you planning?" He stuttered.

"You mean you don't know?" She asked feigning surprise. "But didn't you just say that you were a pro in dealing with me?" While she spoke, she started unbuttoning her blouse. "I think I better test your expertise in handling all this... _raw..._ womanliness" She said gesturing to herself. "After all a real expert shouldn't be overwhelmed this easily."

Astrid threw her blouse to the ground and in a swift motion pulled her bra off. Hiccup swallowed audible. "Me? Overwhelmed? Ha...ha ha," he spoke with false bravado while he tried to keep his voice from cracking.

His wife grabbed his shirt with both hands and sneered in his face: "Oh, believe me. You will be begging for mercy!"

And when – after a long, long night – a very sore Astrid awoke the next morning in the arms of her equally sore husband, she – for the first time in two months – didn't feel broken anymore.


	7. Bullet

_**SUMMARY OF THIS CHAPTER**_

 _Astrid gets shot, which results in her becoming infertile. The demon uses his magic to show her the future when they both are in heaven with the daughter Astrid lost during her pregnancy._

* * *

Chapter 7 - Bullet

In the months to come, there were many dark moments for Astrid and Hiccup where their grief seemed to overwhelm them, but with each other's support their days slowly became brighter again. After half a year, their life finally seemed to be back to normal even though there still were rare occasions of sadness in which one of them needed to comfort the other.

One year later, they decided that they were ready to try again, but life seemed to have other plans.

At twenty-eight, Astrid almost perished.

In hindsight, she wasn't able to remember much, because everything happened so incredible fast. The man before her pulled a gun, she pulled her own, two bangs and then silence.

It was like time stood still. No movement, just the sound of her own heavy breathing. He was the first to fall. The bullet penetrated his chest and when his knees buckled, she instantly knew that she killed him. Then Astrid collapsed, but she wasn't sure why. She didn't feel pain, only some kind of weakness. As she closed her eyes, she didn't even know where she was wounded. Her mind was solely focused on anticipating her impact on the cold floor, but it never happened. Two strong arms grabbed her, pulling her back to her feet.

When she opened her eyes, she was at a different place – a wide meadow surrounded from a thick forest – and looked in a familiar, handsome face.

"Am I dead?" She asked.

The demon shook his head. "If that was the case, you would be talking with an angel. No, the only one I'm going to take with me is the guy who shot you."

Her next line was more of a statement then a question, "I killed him."

"Yes, but you saved the hostage," Hiccup said encouragingly. "It was his own crimes that led him to his end. You did nothing wrong."

Astrid always knew that as a cop it may be necessary to shot someone to protect someone else. That was just the way it was. She was prepared. No, currently something else bothered her more. "I let myself get shot," she said flatly.

"Sometimes the best solution is still an ugly one," he said, laying his arm around her shoulder. "Come with me, I want to show you something."

While they walked, Astrid took in her surroundings. Technically, it was just a clearance in a wood, but at the same time it was incredible beautiful and peaceful. It seemed almost unreal.

"What is this place?" She asked.

"That is actually a pretty tough question," he began. "It is a combination of the future and my imagination. The environment is my work, but the people are real."

"Which people?" Astrid asked in confusion. Suddenly, a girl with long brown hair and bright green eyes ran past them.

"Mommy, mommy, look what I found!" She called out.

"Coming, sweetie," a feminine voice answered. Astrid then noticed, a blond-haired woman walking out of the wood. Shocked, Astrid realized it was herself.

"That is me..." She whispered with wide eyes when a third person ran past them. It was another Hiccup followed by Toothless.

"Geez, what a whirlwind..." He said huffing and puffing.

"Oh, already running out of breath, babe?" The other Astrid taunted.

"You should really do more jogging, daddy." The girl said bluntly.

"Hey, give me a little credit, you two. I was, for most of my life, one legged, remember?"

His wife snorted. "That was more than 140 years ago."

Astrid held her hands before her mouth and tried her best not to cry while watching the little family exchange. "That is our daughter," she whispered.

"Yes," answered the demon. "It is true that she didn't live long enough to see the world, but it was still enough for god to create her soul." He placed a hand on Astrid's cheek, making her look at him. "You didn't fail her. You gave her life, maybe not on Earth, but it is nevertheless a life and she is currently waiting in heaven to spend it with you."

Those words sent Astrid into a spin of emotions. She started crying and immediately clung to the demon, who returned the gesture with the same force.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she whispered again and again into the demon's ear. When she finally released him, she continued watching how the future versions of her and her husband played with their daughter. "She's so beautiful. She looks exactly like you," Astrid said.

"I wanted to show you this the moment you lost her, but I couldn't. It was important that you and my younger self got over it on your own," he stated with a hint of remorse in his voice.

"I think I understand this," she answered thoughtfully. She tried to look him in the eyes, but his gaze was on the ground. "You know everything bad that will ever happen in my life, don't you?"

He nodded, stating, "Believe me, if I had a chance, I would've prevented all of it." He looked up and all she saw was misery. The world, as if to reflect its creator's thoughts, grew suddenly colder and their future selves vanished together with their daughter. "The bullet hit you worse than you think. Without my magic, you would have bleed to death before help arrived."

Her eyes grew wide. "I didn't know it was this bad." Astrid studied his face. Something wasn't right. He had told her she wouldn't die, but she sensed that this wasn't the whole truth. "What aren't you telling me?"

For some time, he didn't answer and just as she wanted to ask him again he began to speak. "Before I answer this, we have to talk about the price for what I did for you today," he said resolutely with a determined expression taking over his features.

Astrid wondered, if he tried to avoid her question. "Okay, what do you want?" She asked cautiously.

"I was often worried about you being a cop," he stated. "There were enough nights in which I laid awake and asked myself, what I would do, if you wouldn't come back."

"Why didn't you speak with me about this?" She asked surprised. She never knew about these fears.

"Because I didn't want you to change," he told her in a somber tone before taking her hands in his. "You are a fighter, a warrior. It is a part of you and I love you exactly like you are. Therefore, I would've never taken being a cop away from you – no matter how much it scared me sometimes."

"Why are you telling me this now?" She asked him now clearly worried.

"Forgiveness is my price for tonight," he spoke, ignoring her question.

"Who should I forgive? You?" she questioned. He shook his head, but didn't elaborate further. Instead, he waited for her answer. Astrid's first reaction was to say yes, because she knew he wouldn't use this deal against her, but she wasn't sure if she would be able to hold her part of the bargain.

"Hiccup, I can't promise you forgiveness. That is something that comes by itself or it doesn't. I can't force it, even if I wanted to." She explained.

He seemed surprised that she didn't accept right away, yet he smiled because of her thoughtful answer. "You're right, but I might be able to lessen your pain and make you able to forgive sooner."

"Which pain?" She asked again.

"Deal?" He asked back.

She huffed in annoyance. "Okay, yes, deal! Will you now finally tell me, what the fuss is all about?"

He winced at her tone. "Astrid," he began quietly. "There is a reason you only saw one child here."

Suddenly, Astrid felt weak again. _'The bullet hit you worse than you think.'_ He had said. When she collapsed, she hadn't been sure where she was wounded, but she knew it was much lower than her chest. Oh god, could it be?

"I... I'm infertile?" She fell to her knees. Astrid couldn't help it. She buried her face in her hands and started crying again, but this time it was far from being from happiness. A second later, his lean arms surrounded her and pressed her into his chest.

"It's okay," Hiccup whispered, rubbing her back slowly to comfort her. "It's going to be okay."

"I will never be a mother," she said more to herself than to him.

"You _are_ a mother, Astrid. The girl we saw was _your_ daughter."

"We wanted to try again. You looked forward to having a child so bad," she sobbed, tears endlessly running down her cheeks. "In the last week, you almost talked about nothing else."

"It isn't your fault," Hiccup reassured her. "Besides you are enough for me. You always were. If you hadn't wanted a child, I would have accepted it."

"If I hadn't been so reckless..." She began, but Hiccup cut her off.

"No, listen to me," he said hastily, causing her to pull her hands away from her face to look at him. "I saw all the possibilities for what could've happened and believe me. What you did was the only way to save the hostage and every moment of happiness this woman will experience in the future and all the lives of all the children she will have are your doing. You lost something very important today, but you also saved something equally precious." He cupped her cheeks while his intense gaze bore into her. "I am proud of you and... I know for sure our daughter is too."

This made Astrid once again cling to him, but he didn't complain. He just held her while she cried, rubbing her back and telling her how much he loved her and that the world wasn't as black as it seemed right now. She didn't know how long she held onto him. Something told her that time wasn't important at this place. Sometimes, it seemed like merely a few minutes and at other times it felt like one or two lifetimes.

A part of Astrid tried to blame herself for what happened, but Hiccup did everything to stop this train of thought as soon as it began. He showed her once again their little family and he even let her see the life of the woman, who she had saved. However, there was more than just his reasoning with her. She could physically sense how his love seeped into her and fought her pain every time it began to arise anew. Finally, the waves of guilt receded and left only a dull feeling behind – the only reminder of a long-forgotten wish to change what she did and who she was. When Astrid's tears died down, a peaceful silence settled over her and Hiccup and she understood, that he hadn't asked her to forgive someone else: just herself.

"I love you," she whispered with a wet smile across her face.

"I love you too," he answered, stroking her golden hair.

"Miao!" They heard from somewhere and suddenly a black cat jumped on Hiccup's head. Astrid couldn't help but giggle.

"Thanks bud. I really appreciate it," Hiccup sighed. "Are you feeling better?" He asked Astrid. "Mr. Bossy here just reminded me that we have things to do. There is still someone we have to take in."

"Are you sure?" She asked teasingly. "The guy looked pretty though and after all you're still a toothpick."

"Hey, I can look rather scary!" He said defiantly. "You know, glowing red eyes, fangs for teeth, two big horns, stuff like that."

Somehow this image of him made her uneasy. She suspected his powers gave him the ability to look like this, if he wanted, but being evil or even only seeming like it didn't fit him in the slightest.

"Besides..." He continued. "...I've got Toothless for things like this."

Astrid snorted. The feline in question currently laid on Hiccup's hair and purred loudly. "This lovely little cat? Are you for real?"

"Are _you_ for real?" He asked back. "Lovely little cat my ass," he muttered exasperatedly. "I still got scratches up there, because the last time he started kneading before he laid down."

Astrid tried to stifle a laugh. Hiccup didn't swear often, but when he did she somehow always found it hilarious.

"But yes, Toothless will help me," he continued, leaning forward conspiratorially. "I can make him look like some giant hell beast, which is usually enough to scare people into shutting up and following me without trouble."

"You are kidding me," she said shaking her head while grinning.

"No, really, I swear," he reassured. "It's actually quite funny, because even after I turn him back he still struts around like he's the meanest creature in the whole creation for the rest of the day." At this Toothless sat up on Hiccup's head and puffed his chest.

Astrid couldn't keep it together anymore. She laughed so much, she almost rolled around on the ground, which made Toothless look like she had personally offended him. The cat was fed up when Hiccup started laughing to. With a feline version of a pouting face, he jumped from his owner's hair and vanished into the grass.

After both Astrid and Hiccup calmed down, he leaned forward and kissed her softly. "It is time for me to go. When you wake up you will be in the hospital with my younger self waiting for you," he whispered to her after they parted from the kiss. Then he stroked her forehead and immediately Astrid fell asleep.


	8. Heart

**Since today all chapters have been revised from an editor.**

 _ **SUMMARY OF THIS CHAPTER**_

 _Hiccup has a heart attack and is dying. The demon appears and makes his final offer.  
_

* * *

Chapter 8 - Heart

It took two weeks for Astrid to awake from her coma and when she did Hiccup awaited her. From his look, she knew right away that she had been unconscious for more than one or two days. His stubble beard was too long and the bags under his eyes were too big. It was the first thing she asked him about and the second one was about her injuries. Hiccup told her that the bullet hit her womb and damaged it to the point the doctors had to remove the whole organ. Because of the fact that Astrid had lost a great amount of blood before the paramedics arrived, the doctors hadn't been sure she would survive the surgery. While he spoke, his face was a mixture of pain and sorrow and she understood how horrible the last two weeks had been for him.

Ignoring her stitches, Astrid hugged him with all the strength she could muster and instantly he started sobbing. Even though she already had accepted what had happened, the pain Hiccup felt for her sake brought her close to tears too. Nevertheless, she didn't allow them to fall. She wanted to be strong for her husband, although she knew that he wouldn't mind, if she would start crying. Astrid spent the next two hours consoling Hiccup. It was an odd imagine considering that it was her, who was shot and not him, but she didn't mind. Her husband, however, apologized many times for his 'weakness', which finally resulted in Astrid punching him in the shoulder.

The next few months, weren't nearly as bad as those after they had lost their daughter. After all, Astrid had been able to cope with her loss even before she awoke in the hospital and Hiccup – despite his initial reaction – seemed quite collected too. 'Maybe me being calmer soothes him too,' she thought, but she wasn't sure about it. However, even with all what had occurred between Astrid and the demon during her coma, some things were still difficult for her. Sometimes she didn't feel complete or adequate anymore, because she had in some way lost the part, that made her a woman. That was the main reason why Astrid didn't sleep with Hiccup for almost half a year. Of course, he didn't pressure her, after all, he understood what it meant to lose a part of oneself.

The first time he saw her naked after the shooting, she felt incredible vulnerable and tried to hide her scars as best as she could. There were two of them – a small round one from the bullet and a long one from the surgery – and the moment Hiccup noticed what she intended to do, he defiantly began focusing all his attention on the two spots she seemed so ashamed of. His advances weren't forceful, but insistent and even though his touch was gently and she knew that she could stop him at any second, something prevented her from doing so. It was like his eyes mesmerized her into showing him what haunted her. As she did his lips descended onto her skin and started caressing the – in her opinion – ugliest spot on her body.

Astrid knew what he was doing. She had done something similar the first time he showed her the stump where his left leg used to be. It had been her way to show him, that she didn't mind his disability.

"It's a mark for what you did," he whispered against her skin. "And because of this it embodies all your good qualities." His mouth traveled along the surgery scar while planting a line of kisses, "Courage." "Strength." "Endurance." "Compassion." "Your sense of justice." "Your willingness to make sacrifices for what you believe in." He looked up at her, speaking with admiration, "Those scars don't make you ugly. They only show what makes you the person you are, what makes you beautiful."

Astrid looked at him with glassy eyes. "Muttonhead," she mumbled.

Hiccup just grinned and kissed her on her lips. Afterwards, they made love for the first time in months and from that day on Astrid was never afraid again of showing him her scars.

The following two years were full of happiness. Their life wasn't like they envisioned it a few years prior, but they still had each other and that made every day blissful in its very own way.

Astrid was 30 and Hiccup was 31 when this peaceful life ended abruptly.

Suddenly, without any warning, Hiccup had a heart attack. Astrid did everything to get help for him as fast as possible, but it seemed to be in vain when the doctors told her that Hiccup wouldn't survive the following night. Sitting alone beside his hospital bed all she could do was cry. She cried and sobbed like never before in her life. No pain had ever cut her as deep as this. He was everything to her – everything – and she knew, that she wouldn't survive, if he died.

"Please..." She sobbed. "Please help him... Don't let this take him away from me."

"Astrid," said Hiccup's voice from behind her, which made her immediately turn around.

"You came!" She sprang to her feet and rushed over to the demon. "Please, you have to do something! Heal him! Heal yourself! Please!"

"Someone else will come to help him. I'm only here because of you," he said.

"What? No! He hasn't much time left!" She yelled with hoarse voice.

"Don't worry, I promise he will be taken care of," he tried to reassure her. "Please, you have to trust me on this."

Astrid looked in the pleading eyes of the demon; the pleading eyes of her husband. Everything in her screamed to not let this go, to force him to save his younger self, but her trust in him was to big not to listen to him. Despite herself she nodded.

"Thank you," he said clearly relieved. "He has his own demon to care for him."

Instantly a cold feeling started to crawl over Astrid. "His own demon?" She asked. "Is this the moment you told me about? When you sold your soul?"

Hiccup shook his head. "He already made that deal," he said, while pointing to the bed.

Shocked Astrid stared at him. "Wha- what? How? When? I..." She trailed of. From the second she had known that Hiccup was her demon Astrid had been watching for the moment when he would try to make the deal, so that she could prevent it. She had never forgotten how he described the hardship of being a demon, to feel like hell was everywhere. However, in the end all her hopes had been pointless. He already had sold his soul and she hadn't even noticed until now.

"Don't take it so hard," the demon said with a small smile, when he saw her expression. "This battle was lost, before you even began fighting it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked in an angry tone, which only caused his smile to widen.

"I was six, when I first met my demon," he began and instantly her expression changed from irritation to utter surprise. He had been so young? "It was the day I lost my mother. The demon came and we made our first deal and many, many more in the years to come."

"Why did you never tell me?" She asked incredulously.

"Because I wasn't allowed to. Like I didn't allow you to tell him..." He gestured once again to the bed. "...about me."

Astrid tried to proceed, what she had just heard. "What did the demon want from you?" She asked after a few moments.

"Trivialities. At least, it seemed like it. I promised something for the future and was forced to act on it when the right moment arrived, but even though the things I was asked for didn't sound important they all helped me greatly in the end. My guardian visited me often, much more than I did you, because even after I saw my mother in heaven I still ended up deeply traumatized." Hiccup gave a bitter chuckle and looked at the ground. "You yourself once got a glimpse at how damaged he is." He nodded to the other Hiccup.

"How damaged _I_ am. My father wasn't any help. He couldn't deal with his own grief, much less with mine. My nights consisted of night terrors and screams and at some point, he just ignored the noise and tried to sleep through it. I needed help, I needed a friend and the demon was willing to be one for me."

"I'm sorry, Hiccup. I... I didn't know it had been this bad," Astrid said with small voice looking at the miserable demon, who still didn't meet her gaze.

Hiccup nodded in appreciation and sighed. "However, a demon is only allowed to help as much as necessary and with every fight I won against my trauma the visits of my friend became fewer. In the end, I was alone, trying to fit in with my plastic foot and hoping every day I wouldn't get ridiculed like the day before. And then you happened." He lifted his eyes up to meet hers and his gaze told her more than any words that she meant the world to him.

"After a few years, I came to the conclusion I wouldn't see the demon ever again," Hiccup continued. "But then you got shot and she visited me again."

"She?" Astrid asked and she couldn't help the fear creeping in her voice. Some part of her already knew, what she was about to hear.

"You. It was you, the whole time without me realizing it. You were my demon," he said softly.

"No. No, that can't be!" She accused almost panicked. "I would never make a deal like this! I would never sell my soul!"

"You always sound like this would be the most heinous act possible," he said frustrated. "Can you even imagine how your life would have gone, if I hadn't been there for you? If I hadn't become a demon?" His eyes became dark as the pictures of her possible future ran through his mind.

"Do you think you would've left your old boyfriend? No, you would've never told your father that he hit you and you wouldn't have learned how to defend yourself. Without my help, the death of your mother would've hit you much harder and even before your father's death you would've clung to your abusive ex, because who else would've been there for you? After years and years of violence and pain you would've finally snapped. You would've overpowered him and... tortured him... to death." He shook his head repeatedly as if the mere idea of her doing something like this was a burden for his mind. "For this horrible murder, you would've been sent to prison for the rest of your life. Now, tell me, is it still so terrible that I sold my soul?"

"B-but... you told me you became a demon to save your life," she said with the shock of what he told her still written in her face.

"That was the other reason, why I let you turn me into a demon," he answered.

"I? I made you a demon? How is this even possible?!" She exclaimed confused and angry. It was all too much for her.

"Time travel," he said plainly. " _You_ turned _me_ into a demon and _I_ will turn _you_ into one – well, at least if you let me. Both of our existences depend on each other. Therefore, if you refuse to become like me, your life will change back to what it would've been without me and my life will collapse in a similar way."

For some time, Astrid didn't say anything. He had just told her that he expected her to give him her soul! She would've probably freaked out if not for one question, which haunted her mind. "What would become of your life without my help?" She asked quietly, not sure if she really wanted to know after what she had heard about her own alternative life.

"I would've killed myself at the age of 16," Hiccup simply said.

"Killed yourself?" She asked disbelieving. "Why?"

"I told you why. I needed help and without it... well." He shook his head.

"It doesn't matter, what exactly would've happened. The point is: Without both of us becoming demons we will never meet each other, we will suffer greatly and in the end, we will both end up in hell. You, because of murder, and me, because of suicide."

"So, that's it? Sell your soul or burn in hell? You don't leave me any choice!" Astrid accused.

"Life doesn't leave us any choice. I was in the same situation like you, but it is also a chance. Without all this demon stuff, we wouldn't have met each other," he said and gave an encouraging smile.

"What is with him?" She asked while looking at the hospital bed. Hiccup's smile fell instantly. "You told me his demon... that _I_ would come and take care of him, but you didn't mean healing him, right?" Her voice was shaken from despair.

"No, I didn't," the demon said. "I told you, I sold my soul to live till I die from a natural cause." He gestured to the bed.

"This is the natural end of my life. The heart attack was the result from a structural heart defect I had since birth but didn't know about. No matter how I would've lived my life, I would've died before reaching 32."

He walked to Astrid, who was teary eyed once again, and place his hands on her shoulders, which made her looking up at him. "I can't change this, because it already happened. All this is my past and I remember that I died in this room. All I can do is offer you a way, in which you don't have to live your life without him. It is your choice. You can keep living and I will ask you once again to become a demon, when you die, or you can come with me now."

"I don't want to live without him... without you. I can't." Tears fell down her face. "But I'm scared. What will happen with me, when I go with you?"

He smiled sympathetic. "You don't have to be scared. I will turn you into a demon and then we will travel back in time to the date of my birth. I will show you how your magic works, how to handle your new condition and what you must do beside watching over my younger self. When you're ready, I will leave to meet up with your future self, thirty years later and from there we will spend the next 100 years working together."

"I won't be alone?" She asked and inwardly scolded herself immediately for her pathetic behavior, but was it inappropriate? Today she would lose everything: the life of her husband, her own life, humanity itself. She needed something that would remain and she hoped with her whole being that it would be Hiccup – in whatsoever form it may be.

"No, I will always be there. This is what it means to be a demon: To be together and love each other in a way only those who are like us can truly understand. I admit the beginning won't be easy, because most of the time you can only watch, but it will be enough."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because it already was," he answered, pulling her gently away from the bed. "Let's give them some space." She gave him a questioning look.

"The moment of death is near," he explained and her expression instantly became horrified. She tried to go back to the bed, but he grabbed her wrist to hold her back.

"Don't," he said. "Just give him space and look what will happen." She paused, but he saw that she still wanted to go. "Please, Astrid, please just trust me." Astrid hesitated at first, but finally nodded and followed him farther away from her husband towards the opposite wall.

For a few minutes, nothing happened, but then the door to the hospital room opened and Astrid saw with wide eyes how another version of herself walked in – together with an all too familiar black cat. The blond woman looked in their direction and instantly a radiant smile broke out on her face. She met gazes with the demon and formed the word "soon" with her lips, whereat he started smiling too and nodded. Afterwards, the woman sent a wink to Astrid and walked to the bed.

As soon as she was beside it, the vitals of Hiccup started collapsing. With a flick of her fingers, she shushed the warnings from the different medical devices and let it happen. Astrid wanted to step in, but she didn't. Something told her, that this moment belonged to her future self. Her other version leaned in to Hiccup and started stroking his cheek.

"Wake up, Snow White, your prince is here," she whispered and kissed him. When their lips broke apart, Hiccup opened his eyes instantly.

"Hey, babe," she whispered.

"Hey," he greeted back. His voice sounded still tired, but his eyes were wide awake and watched her intently.

"How do you feel? Does your chest hurt?" She asked.

"No, not anymore," he said, tucking a stripe of stray hair back behind her ear. "I'm dead, right?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "I'm not. You're here, like you promised. That is all I care about."

She smiled at that. "I'm not alone, you know," she said, lifting Toothless on his chest. "He's going to accompany you.

"Hey there," Hiccup said, stroking the purring feline.

"You see, everything will be fine," the demon whispered to Astrid, who watched the whole exchange in front of them. "Now, it is time for us to go. After all, we still have to make a stop at your home to pick up the Toothless from your time."

Astrid averted her eyes from the scene before her and mustered her demon's face with an intensive gaze. Thirty years separated him from her husband, but he was still the same Hiccup. A Hiccup, who had spent decades to watch out for her and make sure she got the best life possible. And now, it was her turn to do the same for him.

"I love you more than anything else. In this world or any other," she said to him.

He grinned. "That is the reason, why we will get our happy end at last."

And then they vanished into thin air and a new journey began for Astrid.

* * *

 **SEQUEL**

 **I have an idea for a sequel from demon-Astrid's point of view. The story would be about her helping a younger Hiccup trough his life and dealing with her other duties as demon. This would mean much more action, more Hell, more magic and more time traveling. However I have currently half a dozen other story ideas for HTTYD and even one or two for other fandoms. Therefore I don't know when or if I will really write a sequel. For now it's on my to do list but not on the first place.**

 **For those, who are interested: My second story for HTTYD had yesterday its big climax and is almost finished too (still missing an editor though). It's much darker than this one and deals with thoughts about suicide and murder (but neither one will actually happen). If you're interested in these kind of topics, check it out.**

 **Thanks for reading this story guys!**

 **TheWatchingEye**


End file.
